i'm clueless

for WIVES/WOMEN ONLY:

how do you hint to your husband that he needs to do something sweet/romantic for you?

because apparently just blatantly telling him doesn't work (or hasn't worked in the past). And he doesn't read my blog so this is not going to help either.

Any advice is welcome.

db

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Here's my video blog stills

(or a reenactment of how AWESOME it was....RIP 1st VLOG attempt)

("... so it all started when he left the toilet seat up...")

(Listening to his side of the story)

(Telling my side of the story)

(that was the best part - me telling my husband - "oh no you didn't!"

BUUUT SUCKTASTICALLY...........................

I just recorded my entire first video blog and it wont play!

Any MAC users out there who can help me out?

I used iMovie.....?

Let me know! This just aint workin!

(Me after I figured out it won't play)

-db

Preparation for "The DB Connection"

..... with your host, DB.

So I am putting together some topics for some vids. (Thats how we say it in the vlog biz).

Any suggestions or stories that you would like me to tell?

Any topics you would like me to talk about?

NOTHING is off limits. I'm an open book.

If you ask, I will tell.

You may be scratching your eyes out and hoping for your innocence back, but I'll go for it!

Let me know!

Thanks,

db

accidents happen, right?

I often come home from shopping and want to show all of my finds to my E.R. (Thats eternal roommate. I'm clever). I get so excited when i find things for good deals.. (and this happens a lot.) I NEVER pay full price for anything, EVER.... because at some point in your life a perfectly good "something" will be sitting at a garage sale or in a thrift store or on ebay or amazon. Its just never worth it. Dont judge me. Buy used, save the difference. (Where my Duggers at!?)

So when I come home to show him what I find, he doesnt ask me how much anything costs because he knows that it probably equalled out to about 5 dollars, 10....maaybe.

The problem lies when I come home with a bag from Ross. Ross is the devil's store. It has shoes, it has baby clothes, it has big people clothes, it has bedding... it has one of a kind decorations, its a random store. And boy do I love Random! They have a department for EVERYTHING there! I usually/always (yes I use those interchangeably) leave with something for one of my nieces. This is why when I come home I show him what I bought in separate categories...

1. "Things I went to the store for"
2. "Things that fell into the cart, on accident"

I cannot tell you how many times I start off a sentence with, "So, I accidently bought..."

...these white ceramic birds that have no place in our home. But Dangit (usually not "dangit")! There were 90% off!

...this wooden desk organizer that we don't need, but I saw so much potential in it...

...this pot for the "garden" that we don't have because everything is dead except for that one amazing plant that lived like Harry Potter even though we never fed it anything!

...these sheets that don't technically fit our bed, but I am secretly hoping that we get a bigger bed because I don't like touching while in my nightly coma.

I am so glad he understands (or pretends to?), and just laughs at me. I'm sure one of these days, when I'm a hoarder "collector" with boxes of crap up to the ceilings it won't be funny anymore....

JK, I love getting rid of crap, I go through my stuff ALL the time. I love the cleansing feeling. Not to mention the feeling of avoiding being a hoarder. I do admit its hard in this stupid apartment we are living in.

Have I mentioned it's about the size of a colon?

The kitchen about the size of a infant's armpit.. but we wont go there.

So, how often do YOU go through stuff? Are you a "keeper" or a "dumper"?

I'm a dumper, but a shopper.

Contradicting, I know.

I have a personality disorder when it comes to "things".

I'm a shopping dumper. Mostly I like to dump. I buy, I dump, I buy, I dump. But, dumping is my favorite thing to do.

That got awkward fast.

Man, this has got me thinking - I'm gonna start my list for Santa.

-----------

my husband just walked in.

what are you doing?

blogging.

about?

read my blog and find out.

------

Hopefully he reads this by the time I have my Santa list posted!

VLOG!? oh, bless you.

So, after my lovely and most desirable blogger bff was brave enough to post a vlog.. i cant stop thinking about it! I think it about it on my drive to work at 7am, i think about it on the way home, i think of topics every single time my brain has a chance.

If I vlogged, vould you vatch?

(_'_) what's crackin' at work... (_'_)

yup those are tushies.

I have had a life full of bullet-dodging names. My mother always wanted to have a daughter with the middle name Suzanne for her best friend... she loved the name Amy..Unfortunately she married an S.

Amy Suzanne Seegmiller

aka

A.S.S.

How fitting, if only she knew how I would turn out. PHEW. dodged that bullet.

pewpew (laser gun noises)

SOOOOO, at work we are constantly sending messages and emails to each other. Some people sign with their initials, other sign their whole name, and the rest add special characters. I decided to go with the simple, lower case initials of my name. I like it because the two letters mirror each other and they are back to back. SO cool, couldn't have planned it better... I actually married him for his last name. joking. Anyway, it looks like I'm being lazy, but it was actually a huge thought out process, I wanted this to be a signature!

db

whuuuuuuuuut!

*the crowd goes wild*

Creative, I know. but after emailing a certain porcupine of an individual at my work and signing it "db"...

I thought.....

douchebag.

She is going to think that I am a douchebag. Why not? I sign it "db". What else could that be for? Now I sign it dbg. Just to be sure she knows. And to think, I could have signed it a.s.s. What a letdown.

-dbg

those barfing feelings.

Don't you find it weird that puking is pretty much connected with every strong emotion?

I've been...

so angry i want to barf

so disgusted i want to barf

so disappointed i want to barf

so sad i want to barf

so happy i want to barf

so stressed i want to barf...

seriously. whyyyy did God make it that way?

He has a good sense of humor, thats for sure.

...but I wouldn't expect any less from my Father.

Right now I'm so sad I want to puke.

enlisted.

I thought about my life today, thought about simply everything.

I thought about when life was easy. I was born in 87, life was easy then...

Life was so-called "easy" up until about 97....Thats it.

The end.

Life was easy for me for about 10 years.

Then all hell broke loose.

I thought for hours about this today...hours.

I wont go into detail, but countless atrocities hit my family like ants attacking, well, whatever ants attack. Every family has their demons, my family is not immune. Its hard, its horrible, its heartbreaking and most of all its embarrassing.

Embarrassing to know that my family isn't the perfect super-hero family I thought it was for those 10 years of life. Life got hard. Really hard. I grew up fast. Really fast.

I wont say I didn't have my moments of 13-16 year old stupid girl hormonal tantrums...but overall I was pretty old for my age. All because of circumstance, choices and chapters in my life that unfurled faster than a book in a wind tunnel.

(People who meet me don't believe that I am an only child.... and here is why..)

This isn't normal, my life. I haven't lived a life of a normal kid. Anyone in my family will attest to that. BUT I assure myself on a daily basis that if, before this life, I was given the choice to take a boring, normal, demonless, trouble-free life, I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't feel that my potential was fulfilled.

Always, the story of my life has been....

"We are all enlisted til the conflict is o'er."

I enlisted. But even though all that is well and good sometimes you still gotta think, "crap."

-db