those barfing feelings.

Don't you find it weird that puking is pretty much connected with every strong emotion?

I've been...

so angry i want to barf

so disgusted i want to barf

so disappointed i want to barf

so sad i want to barf

so happy i want to barf

so stressed i want to barf...

seriously. whyyyy did God make it that way?

He has a good sense of humor, thats for sure.

...but I wouldn't expect any less from my Father.

Right now I'm so sad I want to puke.

enlisted.

I thought about my life today, thought about simply everything.

I thought about when life was easy. I was born in 87, life was easy then...

Life was so-called "easy" up until about 97....Thats it.

The end.

Life was easy for me for about 10 years.

Then all hell broke loose.

I thought for hours about this today...hours.

I wont go into detail, but countless atrocities hit my family like ants attacking, well, whatever ants attack. Every family has their demons, my family is not immune. Its hard, its horrible, its heartbreaking and most of all its embarrassing.

Embarrassing to know that my family isn't the perfect super-hero family I thought it was for those 10 years of life. Life got hard. Really hard. I grew up fast. Really fast.

I wont say I didn't have my moments of 13-16 year old stupid girl hormonal tantrums...but overall I was pretty old for my age. All because of circumstance, choices and chapters in my life that unfurled faster than a book in a wind tunnel.

(People who meet me don't believe that I am an only child.... and here is why..)

This isn't normal, my life. I haven't lived a life of a normal kid. Anyone in my family will attest to that. BUT I assure myself on a daily basis that if, before this life, I was given the choice to take a boring, normal, demonless, trouble-free life, I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't feel that my potential was fulfilled.

Always, the story of my life has been....

"We are all enlisted til the conflict is o'er."

I enlisted. But even though all that is well and good sometimes you still gotta think, "crap."

-db

foosball.

i love how me and my husband are always on the same page...

*watching BYU vs WA game*

him: "Now all we have to do is control......."

i interrupt.

me: ".....ALT, and DELETE THESE MOFOs!!!"

I was super excited and waited for a well-deserved high five for my cleverness.

...

lets just say he left me hangin'.

at least one of us thinks I'm cool.

My name is Rage, Road Rage.

well, at least my middle name isn't Rash.... yet?

My name is Danielle, and I'm a rage-a-holic.

Let me BEGIN by saying that I already KNOW that I need to learn how to be patient...

but seriously people (not you, my precious blog people, but the dangerous blind drivers out there).......Don't drive with your head up your you know what!!!

(and you know what I mean... its your you-know-where.)

I have serious road rage, I even replaced my horn in my car because....well lets be serious, I have a toyota and we all know they are built with sissy "beep beep" horns. I mean.. really Japan!? I can YELL louder than that!

Lets be serious. I got a truck horn, a super loud truck horn. I even tried a few out before making the final selection. I actually have two octaves of horn.... but I'm not here to give you a horn education.

I wanted people to take me seriously when I hold it for the 3 minutes that I feel necessary to get my point across. I know I have issues, serious need-counseling issues.

Merging:

We all know how to do it... or do we? Let me explain. When two lanes merge, you go one after one after one...and so on and so forth. Well THIS BEEZY decides that she wants to go 2 and then one. I go because well, its MY TURN. I see her and notice she isn't stopping.

This is where I realize that I am stubborn. We play chicken with each other for a second, and since I'm smarter, I stopped. She looks at me and starts doing the whole "angry-mouthing" thing. "There are two lanes" she mouths and points. And I mouth back "YES I KNOW, thats why we MERGE YOU....." Well, this is a family blog and lets just not go there.

But the BEST part of this story is that it goes on for about 2 minutes!

LITERALLY THE LONGEST argument while driving I have ever had!!

There came a point where I was arguing just because I could. It made me feel better. I know I'm a terrible person, don't act like you don't think the same things I do.

Anyway, I did this because, well...

you know how you admit things to people so that they can put you in your place?

....

This isnt for that! LOL.

Just thought I'd share!

Love ya peeps!

blog failure

Wow, I suck at blogging. I knew this was a horrible idea.

I'm a GREAT follower though! I love reading all your blogs! Sorry I don't give back to you the inspiration and entertainment you give to me.

Updates:

• I have a job! I am a legal assistant. Whowouldathought!? Anyway, its a stressful job sometimes because I deal with SSA Disability claims, and peoples lives are on the line. LITERALLY. But I love it. I read medical records and weed out the crappy claims from the slam dunks.

• 15 lbs down. =) Starting P90X again tomorrow with Brady. I LOVE IT. I love how I feel and how I look and how I act when I am eating well and tx my body well. (tx=treating... i cant believe I just used that, I read medical records for a living... and thats Drs shorthand. really, danielle?)

• We just had our one year anniversary!

Me: "Do you love me more or less than you did when we got married?"

Him: "More, duh. What kind of stupid question is that?"

Me: "How is that possible?"

Him: "Love is like a garden....well.... not our garden."

Thank goodness its not our garden! Apparently you can't have a beautiful lush garden with no water. weird.

*scream*

skinny girls need not flaunt their cart full of chocolate mousse cake, mint brownies, brownie bites, chocolate chip cookies, whipped cream & calories in my face while I'm googling how many calories are in tilapia.

I

HATE

YOU

& if I hear an "I'm so fat" from someone who is not considered obese or overweight by the BMI scale.. or their doctors I will throw them across a field with my newly formed muscles.

aghhh!

I want pound cake. I know, its called "pound" cake for a reason.

I'll just keep dousing my food with hot sauce, mustard and zero calorie imitation butter flakes & have a hot body that I HAD TO WORK FOR! RIGHT?

DZBZ

you've got personality

so. there is one thing i don't like about myself.

its my weight.

:)

i have been watching a lot of reality tv.

people are TORN up about their weight.

& have so many underlying problems & daddy issues.

i am so blessed i dont have those on TOP of being overweight.

i'm just chubbity.

i can lose weight.

BUT...

here are some things that if you don't have, you just won't have:

personality

pizazz

spunk

groove

sparkle

humor

rhythm

funk

spirit

I have the latter, now to work on the weight - then I'll be perfect!

....right?

LOL

it also helps my self-esteem knowing that in another culture being pasty white and chubbity is HOT & SEXY!

Hewlzyah!

-DZBZ