I thought about my life today, thought about simply everything.
I thought about when life was easy. I was born in 87, life was easy then...
Life was so-called "easy" up until about 97....Thats it.
The end.
Life was easy for me for about 10 years.
Then all hell broke loose.
I thought for hours about this today...hours.
I wont go into detail, but countless atrocities hit my family like ants attacking, well, whatever ants attack. Every family has their demons, my family is not immune. Its hard, its horrible, its heartbreaking and most of all its embarrassing.
Embarrassing to know that my family isn't the perfect super-hero family I thought it was for those 10 years of life. Life got hard. Really hard. I grew up fast. Really fast.
I wont say I didn't have my moments of 13-16 year old stupid girl hormonal tantrums...but overall I was pretty old for my age. All because of circumstance, choices and chapters in my life that unfurled faster than a book in a wind tunnel.
(People who meet me don't believe that I am an only child.... and here is why..)
This isn't normal, my life. I haven't lived a life of a normal kid. Anyone in my family will attest to that. BUT I assure myself on a daily basis that if, before this life, I was given the choice to take a boring, normal, demonless, trouble-free life, I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't feel that my potential was fulfilled.
Always, the story of my life has been....
"We are all enlisted til the conflict is o'er."
I enlisted. But even though all that is well and good sometimes you still gotta think, "crap."
-db
