Shameless Plug.

Hey My 14 followers. [I suck at this, I know.]

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know in case you aren't my friend on facebook...

I am trying to become a consultant for Lia Sophia! In order to do this I need to find people to host parties so I can start it off right.

To Host a Party:

1. Make a Guest List
2. Make Treats
3. Receive jewelry!

It really is that easy! I just need a few more people who are willing to help a sista out! :) There is a new catalog coming out in July!!!! It shouldn't be out until August, but if you host a party you can order out of the new book!

Here is the website:

LiaSophia.com

Here is a link to the new catalog (just click the 2011 Winter Catalog for the new stuff!)

http://qa.liasophia.us/sites/corporate/productcatalog?page=cataloglisting

Anyway, if you or any of your friends are interested in earning free amazing life-time warranty jewelry, contact me!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE :) Its been really hard for me to find helpers since most of my family and friends are out in Cali.

Danielle Baker

dansmell@gmail.com

liasophia.danielle@gmail.com

sometimes you write a blog you never post.

today i did that. Actually, it was about 5 seconds ago....

i cant post it.

i just write down a whole bunch of my feelings and anger and imperfections and very personal revealing details about how crappy of a person I am or could be but how I am not crappier than certain people that I want to beat within an inch of their life..... but. no.

wont post it. just saved it and will never post it. I might delete it when i get over it... that would be good therapy.

maybe its my job, where I deal with people who were incarcerated for murder, sexual abuse, rape, child abuse.... people who used crack, meth, alcohol and mj while pregnant with one of God's blessed gifts.... I could blame my job, sure.

This post is just to tell you I'm bothered and I wont tell you why.

ne-ner-ne-ner-ne-ner.

dbg

recent obessions

I have been thinking non-stop about projects and ideas that I need *ahem* want to do ASAP!

refinish cabinets

find a thrift store dining room/scrapbook table

refinish high chair

have garage sale

make a bench from head/foot board

make backdrop with doors

start a photography business... but first finish a portfolio.

AHH!

What are you obsessing about?

I want to get all of these projects done and as I do, I will make posts about how I did it, what I did and what I did wrong...

Keep ya posted!

Its finally nice weather with the bullcrap snow hopefully getting the hint that it is no longer welcome!

I might do some vlog entries as well. But as for now, I will stay home with a super sick and pathetically ill husband who is puking in sinks and buckets... first things first.

MUCH LOVE GOING OUT TO ONE OF MY BFFS BECCA TODAY! Love ya girl!

-the wife with too much to do

Slumber Party THIS FRIDAY!

Hey Ladies!

I am having a LADIES ONLY party this Friday. The product is from "Slumber Parties"! If you want any details or want to make an outside order, hit me on Facebook!

-Danielle

I keep my wand in my purse.

My dad made me a wand.

Nope, there are no typos in that sentence.

Yesterday I am leaving for work and the velvet pouch was hanging from a closet doorknob. I grab it and put it into my purse.

"Just in case things get out of hand at work", I say.

Brady laughs uncontrollably and when he finally catches his breath he asks if I expect Dementors to be attacking anytime soon.

He just doesn't get it.

The Farting Runway

Cubicles are funny things.

First of all, you never expect to find yourself in one. Then you wonder who that monster in the mirror is, clawing to get the one with the "window". You sit day in and day out, plotting and hoping to do something that will set you apart from the rest of the cube people. My square space is placed right in front of a hallway.

A long hallway.

A hallway that many people have to travel to get across the office to their desired destination. The problem is, most people don't realize that there is a person literally 1 foot away from them. What I love about that hallway is that I hear secrets. People stand in that hallway and share with other co-workers deep secrets, problems and stories from their crazy weekend. I.love.it. I live vicariously through those stories. It's awesome, it's bliss.

However, since people don't realize they are surrounded by people, they tend to do things that they normally would do in the privacy of their own home. For instance, take their shoes off and waft their sweaty, athletes foot all around my nostrils. People also like to do the other dirty "do-at-home" activity. No, not sex....yet.

Farting.

People get let those fluff biscuits out as they walk down the hallway!

step. rip step. reeerrr step. pop step. grrrr step. BURHF

Thats what we call the walking farts.

I live 8 hours of each day on The Farting Runway.

help me. it makes my throat hurt!

the inappropriate wife chronicles.

*****DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY VULGARITY!*****

maybe that should be the new name of my blog? it seems to accurately wrap up who I am. I am trying to figure out how to get the video of my new house from my husbands phone to the computer. its too large to email, to send to my phone, and to upload to facebook. Still working on it. As soon as it works, I will post it here! :) Excitement, excitement. We are painting, getting new carpet and new appliances. Then we will move in! I can't wait til this is ALL OVER and we are just living our semi-normal lives and having our inappropriate conversations in our very own house. Wow, does this make me an adult? Does this mean I have to grow up? Does THAT mean I have to be mature? buuugh. what a dirty word.

....Earlier today.....

We were walking to the car, in the snow (i HATE snow, it annoys me. I feel like its constantly patronizing me. stupid snow.) Anyway, every time I leave the house, snow seems to be the one thing that immediately puts me in a bad mood. dang utah weather. (lets just say this is the "clean" non-vulgar perspective that I have on this snow subject. I would usually have to use a lot of symbols, black outs or bleeps to explain... but I digress.)

so here it goes.

Me: "I'm freezing my balls off!"

Him: ".....I wish you didn't have balls."

Recently, I have been obsessed with the well being of my nonexistent Juevos.

Hasn't everyone had this conversation before?

db

Most Important Memories

"Memories and pictures and journals are most important...."

"Hopefully, I maintain my memory."

"You will. If not in this life, in the next."

"Selfish me, I want it in this life."

"I'm sure you wont have problems. Grammie needed that disease. You won't."

"How did you get so smart?"

"Remember, I'm perfect."

"Just like your Dad. See already with the memory thing."

Mommy-Daughter Notes

"Dear Mom, I love you. You live in a shoe. Write back."

"Dear Danielle, You're swell. Now go sit on a pail. Write back."

"Dear Mom, You're crazy!"

Some things never change.

db

Pay it Forward, Handmade.

I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment here.

They must in turn post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on theirs.

The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011.

Glad I snatched a tall husband!

......but I'm still stranded without toilet paper because he is hard of hearing.

5 minutes and counting... this could be a long night.

great.

-oversharer anon.

UPDATE:

He came down...

...eventually...

I told him that I have been yelling for him for over 5 minutes.

He told me he heard.

He had been laughing the entire time...

Really? Is this what I signed up for?