endure it well

Today I was having a hard time feeling sorry for myself and being jealous of other people. I thought the best way to work this out was to write about it. So, here I am putting it "all out there" so to speak and hoping that I can raise myself up from this rut.

Daily, I remind myself to be happy for other's blessings and to be grateful for mine. It's just one of those days I guess. It's hard working so hard for something and not being able to get it while you sit by and watch others attain is with ease. That's all. Enough of the depressing, now onto my NEW AND IMPROVED thought processes.

My new year's resolution (which has been working quite well by the way) is always thinking glass half full! While some people hope for other's failure to make themselves feel better, I focus solely on myself and what I have control over.

I have gained much through trial. I keep saying to myself how blessed I am to be going through trials so I am able to learn valuable lessons that cannot be learned through ANY other means. I have learned much about money management, empathy and perseverance. I have learned the things in life that are TRUELY important: family, honesty, & kindness. Some people spend their lives working on rearranging their priorities in life and never can figure out what is actually most important. I am lucky to know this at a mere 22.

Music gets me through anything. It gets me through doing dishes, which says A LOT. Below are some lyrics that ring true to me today:

"The struggles I'm facing, the changes I'm taking, sometimes they knock me down but, no I'm not breaking... "

"There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move.."

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"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes, Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me, I'm thankful, for every break in my heart, I'm grateful, for every scar, Some pages turned, Some bridges burned, But there were lessons learned."

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"That's all right, I'm ok.
It ain't nothin' but another day. "

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"There are times in life when you gotta crawl,
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no-one else:
That's when you find yourself
I've been around an' I've noticed that,
Walkin's easier when the road is flat
Them danged ol' heels'll get you every time
Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

This world ain't fair,
It can knock you on your butt
You can just lie there,
Or you can get back up
You gotta get back up"

Anyway, I hope you got the gist of this post to be hopeful and not sad. I am not sad, I am not mad, I am not jealous; today at least. But when those feelings start creeping back inside my head I will not let them reach my heart. I will not forget everything I have learned through the hard times that have presented themselves in my life because I know that trials WILL come. They always have, I am not immune from them. So its not "if" the hardships come, it's WHEN. My "when" is now & I know it's all about HOW I am going to deal with it. & I choose to deal with it positively. I will not be the self-loathing, sad sack who craves sympathy. I don't want sympathy, I want strength.

“There are cycles of good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, and times of plenty as well as scarcity. When our lives turn in an unanticipated and undesirable direction, sometimes we experience stress and anxiety. One of the challenges of this mortal experience is to not allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us—to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic. Perhaps when difficulties and challenges strike, we should have these hopeful words of Robert Browning etched in our minds: 'The best is yet to be' "

“Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down with the blows of life, let us remember that others have passed the same way, have endured, and then have overcome.”

And my MOST favorite quote of ALL time. It always seems applicable.

"Joy is not a stranger to pain. We may not feel deeply enough to know joy unless our hearts have been hallowed out by sorrow. A heart may not be big enough to know real joy until it has been stretched and pulled by trials and hard things."

I hope someone, somewhere, can read this and find the strength that I have found. Life is always going to be hard...but we already knew that. Before this life we excitedly shot our hands up in the air and volunteered for this. We hoped to experience this life. We knew what would happen, how hard it would be and knew that if we put our faith in Heavenly Father we could return to be with Him and our families. I for one, am planning on returning with honor.

Love D